This morning as I got in the shower to get ready for work I began thinking about this one particular situation and as I was thinking about that it led me back to November of 2004. Pastor John said something in one of the meetings that really struck me, I mean it went right to my heart. I'm sure he had said it plenty of times, but this was the first time I had heard it. He said, "When I chose God, it didn't matter what anyone else thought. I would share with them my testimony, but that's all I could do, the ball was in their court and it was their decision whether to continue their same life or they could go to God." I'm telling you when he said this, it went right into me. It wasn't a matter of me getting my life straight, the point to me was that once I told my "friends" how I felt the ball was in their court. They could choose whether to continue down their life of sin or to come along with me on my road of happiness with God.
I have to give a little bit of background for the rest of this to make sense. When I turned 18 I got my first job, it was at a little amusement park in North Carolina. I worked there for 5 summers, it was a very good job for me to have because they were very flexible with my schedule. During my 2nd year of work there this guy started working. We just kind of hit it off and our "friendship" just kind of grew. Over the next couple of years we remained friends, we could tell each other everything which is unusual for me because I only talk about most things with my close friends and family. During my senior year of college (2004) he started going to college with me. This meant we were spending more time together, we would eat together and just general hanging out. I guess it was around September we started kind of drifting and going our own ways. It was kind of hard for me at first, but I just started filling my time with other things that I needed to be doing. We still saw each other because we were still working together, but we weren't as close as we had been before. We would still talk online and things like that, but it wasn't the same. He already knew where I stood as far as my standards just because we had spent SO much time together over the past years at work, but we had never just talked.
One night as we went to the bank to drop off the deposit from work he made a statement out of the blue about wishing all girls would just write him a letter and tell them what is on their mind. It was at that very moment that a light bulb went off in my head and I knew what I needed to do. I knew there was so much I wanted to tell him and for me it didn't matter if we weren't as close as we had been before, he was still part of my life and I still wanted to share my testimony with him. I started writing a letter. I took my time and did many different copies before I was happy with what I had. I wanted to be sure that I said things in the right way and that everything was very clear. I didn't want to leave anything out. I had things written all over that page. When I was finished I let a few different people read it just to see what they thought, to see what I should add, what I should change. When I finally had it just like I wanted it I took out some fresh paper and began to re-write it in the order I felt like it should be in and making sure I didn't leave anything out. I finished the letter the weekend before Thanksgiving and was hoping for a chance to see him before we left school for break. It somehow worked out (ha! God worked it out) so that my roommate and I ended up running into him and his friend at lunch the Tuesday before Thanksgiving. As we finished lunch and began to go our separate ways I handed him the letter and told him I really wanted him to take his time and read it. Then we went our separate ways. We finally talked online Thanksgiving night and all he had to say was that it "freaked him out" and that was it. Then the next day I was out at the mall with some friends and I ran into him. It was very awkward and he didn't have much to say.
Several people from Kentucky were in North Carolina for the Thanksgiving weekend. It was a good weekend. Every once and a while I would think about the letter, but it was really hard for me to dwell on that because everything else was so good. It was during that weekend that Pastor John said about once he shared his testimony the ball was in the other person's court. As soon as he said that whatever I felt inside in regards to that situation it was just gone. It was like a release for me. I knew that it was his choice, the ball was in his court, there was nothing more for me to do.
Slowly over the past 3 years my friend and I have grown apart. We worked together one more summer, but it wasn't the same as it had been and that was fine. I was okay. We could still hang out, but I knew it wouldn't be like it was before. I was happy with my life and he was, or puts on the appearance of being, happy with his. It's funny though because I feel like in a way all of that really drew us closer. I see more about him than I have ever seen about anyone else before. It's like I see through his appearance. He can hide from everyone else, but he can't from me. He always knows where to come to for good sound advice - he has done that on occasion. He will also know where to come if he ever really wants to be happy.
"When I chose God, it didn't matter what anyone else thought. I would share with them my testimony, but that's all I could do, the ball was in their court and it was their decision whether to continue their same life of sin or they could go to God." When Pastor John said those words I had such relief and peace about it all. It may be that that statement was meant just for me and that's fine because I took that gold nugget and kept it in my pocket and it sure has been relief when I have gone through other situations similar to this one. There is nothing left to do when they don't return the ball...the game is over.
